Leaving Mauritius at the end of the hour

Well it is 19:09 pm and it the lights of Port Louis can be seen from the ship. Just left the garden lounge after eating dinner and sitting 'round talking with Ali, Karen, Nick and some others folks. We were mostly people watching and trying to guess people's blood alcohol content since Mauritius has had the reputation among SAS'ers as the party place. Actually in the past SAS used to stay a lot longer in Mauritius but due to the inappropriateness of students and their abuse of alcohol, we are no longer welcomed on the island. It is rumored that we are the last voyage to port there...and we've only been here for a day so that was even a blessing. In the future they said the ship will continue to stop in Mauritius because it is also the refueling period for the ship. We simply won't be allowed to get off the ship and future voyages will proceed to their destination. So that is one way to go about it.

Met up with Diane, Stephen, Karen and Ali in tymitz square. Most folks doing independent travel were going straight to the beach. Our previous groups of people didn't work out so we decided to walk and see where it took us. If we ended up at the beach, that was cool. If we didn't, that was also cool. The main agenda for 95% of the shipboard community was to get drunk. This was a known fact. Now that we are back on the ship and have seen people staggering, falling over, slurring words, hugging and smooching... it is all too clear. There was also a number of names that was repeated over the intercom because we had to make sure everyone was on the ship and so they most definitely got dock time. Heard of one person getting 9 hours, another getting 24 hours. They also randomly drug tested some people--one of which was our very sober friends Max. He was pissed and he is generally laid back by nature, but he had a point about some of the very obvious cases of drunk folks. But then again, it wouldn't be considered random if they targeted them... not to mention drunk folks went through the normal questioning from the stewards and some probably got dock time.

But back to our day, headed to the 2nd deck since that's where we were getting off. The line was ridiculous and found out that the computer system was being changed. Perfect timing! We didn't get off the ship until close to 10ish am. On ship time was 6 pm, but because of computer problems and the promised traffic of the city, we knew that we would have to beat the whole 4-6 pm line. This greatly cancelled out our time... we got to walking, running into Jack, Courtney, the other Stephen, Maria and Hannah.  It was funny because on one side it looked very country-like with green meadows and hills. There were mountains with odd irregular shaped peaks. Whereas on the other side it was the city skyline, tons of cargo and fishing boats. Anyhow, started walking up the pebbled dirt roads towards what we presumed was the city. The minute we walked out, taxi drivers went nuts trying to sell us their services. We kept telling them no thanks but we would walk and they was almost surprised like wait no beach? And we're like nope. We continue walking down the street and several either followed on foot or in their cars. Finally they let up and we walked. It began drizzling but overall we were excited to see what was ahead. We didn't pass anything significant. Around us was something that referred to sugar cane distribution. We followed a sign that mentioned a waterfront mall and boutiques. Got there and was happy to see some stores were open but most weren't since it was Sunday.

There was an intersection with more stores. We also noticed a McDonald's and folks were hungry so we walked down the stairs of this underpass to the other side. There was a billboard as you walked downstairs and what was that billboard of? KFC. lol. Anyhow, we get out on the other side and head into McDonald's. This one looked much like the ones in the USA. I still contend that the McDonald's in Capetown, South Africa was amazing. lol. The biggest difference was their menu. They had Chicken BigMacs, McSaver, McRoyals and McDeluxe. The fries were also not very salted. We sat eating for about an hour. Jack had his iphone and was able to take advantage of the wifi and Skype folks. We left, following the road to what we discovered was the marketplace. It wasn't as extensive as the one in Manaus and it wasn't as aggressive as the one in Takoradi, but it was enough mayhem. Marketplaces are always overwhelming. Ali, Karen and I didn't have Mauritian rupees so didn't get to shop there. Courtney kept getting suckered in by the locals. haha. Then in the midst of the marketplace, we found an alleyway into another marketplace where there were fruit and stuff sold. It didn't smell too great. Another tidbit, Mauritius is referred to as the "Light India." Having gone, I can see why. It was difficult to remember that we weren't in India yet.

Walked back towards the McDonald's to get water and Ali and I wanted to check out the ATM nearby. Courtney and Jack decided to walk back to the ships to get their laptops and use the wifi at McDonald's. The rest of us headed back to the original mall and got to shopping. The guys- Stephan and Stephen went and grabbed a beer some where while the girls and I split. We ended up at one boutique and tried on some stuff. It was fun =) Had to get more rupees from the ATM or in eventual spots, pay with our VISA's because we kept forgetting that the sum converted in USD was relatively cheaper than it sounded. lol. That happened a lot. For instance, my total which was about $68 USD was worth close to 2000 rupees. lol. Nuts. It's always tough to do the conversions. Anyhow, Ali and Karen were hungry since they hadn't eaten Mickey D's with us earlier so we wandered back out into the city in search of food.  This time instead of walking through the underpass, we walk past it and followed the sidewalk. We came down towards a few stands selling postcards, key chains, ya know the typical touristy stuff. We stopped and brought some stuff. Most folks were looking for stamps since the post office was closed today. No luck. Fortunately we were standing next to what was an entrance of yet another mall! There were two levels but the top was for the kiddie playground and the other stores were closed. Upon walking in the first level we got excited to see it was filled with restaurants. We then checked out some of the gift shops and brought more touristy stuff. Their national bird is the Dodo. Hahaha. Just felt I needed to point that out. Anyhow, one of the women try to get us to buy some scarves and we're like no thanks. Someone tells her we're in search of stamps as we walk on and she's like I have them. It was hilarious how fast we were crowding in her store. Well not me per se since I didn't have any postcards haha. But them, sure. We were pretty sure she ripped all those who purchased stamps off, but hey- you can do that when you have the product in need.

Walked past the internet cafe and frankly, I'm glad we didn't even stop by. Totally addicting and we probably would have wasted a perfectly beautiful day sitting in a dim lit cafe, hunched over computers. Walked around towards the water or what was the front of the restaurants. Sat outside at a table after looking over the menu. We ordered and finally got our food. I asked the waiter for his name and he said "MeRony" so I said oh ok, thanks MiRony. And he said, no, me, Rony. My name is Rony. And we all bust out laughing. Hahaha. Just because I love food, gotta share the details: I ordered crispy calamari, Ali had some sort of burger, Karen had a margherita pizza, Stephen had a swordfish sandwich, Stephan had a Mauritian styled octopus meal (curry, saute). The food was sooo delicious. With my calamari came three sauces: tomato, chili and garlic. However, we forgot about the chili one because it was an odd greenish. Took some and put it on my calamari and almost died. Lol. I couldn't make out the taste or how to process it. haha. Everyone else was trying to decipher my feelings or how it was and I was just stunned by it. Lol. So Stephen decided to try it. He also made gagging noises and his face turned red as did his eyes watered. It was hilarious. Rony thought it was funny that we had such low tolerance ( I guess since he looked somewhat Indian). He had heard about the ship so he automatically began asking us questions about it and about our next stop. It was funny because he said that everyone but me looked American. I looked Mauritian haha. The interesting point about that is Mauritius is one brown country. Seriously. We kept having to think about it. Where in the world was Mauritius it seemed like a random location on the map, and I guess when you see where it's placed, you can still say that. It is literally in between Africa and India, separated by the Indian Ocean. The influences were obvious and that's why it made the most sense as a stop post Africa and prior to India. We mentioned wanting to visit America. When we told him we were heading to India he started telling us how spicy things were going to be and that EVERYTHING had some sort of spicy element. Lol. He was telling us to make sure we eat a lot of yogurt or drink milk if we're not accustomed to spicy stuff. He was awesome. We left after he took down our facebook info and took a picture with us. Oh random tidbit, it was hilarious how many places including the restaurant we ate at, took USD, Rands, Euros and pounds in addition to Mauritian Rupees. Hahaha. Actually our receipt converted it into each for us so that we had the option of choosing either. In Mauritian rupees my meal was 150ish rupees. In USD it was only 7.80. That's wild. We got our change back in USD with the exception of change which we got into rupees.


Took the water taxi back because we didn't feel like walking back. Got back to the ship late 3ish pm. It was like a 10 minute commute and it was fairly relaxing. We were happy we avoided any line. Thus concludes my account... I'm exhausted. Need to nap.... even though it is just about 8 pm. I say nap because the hope is I will wake up and study for my mid-term in International Perspectives of Family Violence tomorrow. The good news is I have that class around 2:55 pm. I tell ya, these people don't think about this stuff when they schedule the syllabus. But eh, we are in school after all. Mauritius was a blast.

Beginning the day in Mauritius

Ate breakfast with friends, stood listening to the Diplomatic briefing for bit, checked out the SAS website and blog where my reflections of my South African Homestay is featured: http://www.semesteratsea.org/voyage-blog/spring-2011/student-township-homestays-the-black-coloured-divide.php

 

Now leaving to find the beach. More updates later!!! Let's go Mauritius =)

Saturday: Pre-port meeting for Mauritius and other stuff

So just a run down of what happened once we got back into the swing of classes,

-did my Global Studies presentation about poverty and Ghana with my group yesterday.  I was one of the speakers. So glad thats done and over with.

-Used what was left of my minutes and called a ghost of the past yesterday evening. Don't know why I did it, didn't really expect the person to answer...didn't even know what I would say. Just did it. While his response was cool, haven't heard from him since-- which brings me back to my original point. It was extremely random considering the circumstance...and out of all people... don't know why I did it. Lol.

-watched the world premiere of “Dear Mr Gacy” which was based off of Kottler's bestseller. Glad the reactions reaffirms my personal thoughts of that dude. It was explicit, it was disturbing, it was a thorough representation of the crazy person I believed him to be... and finally people see it too!

-did something I thought was funny that in retrospect wasn't so funny but rather invasive.  Malachi isn't actually happy with me at the moment. Feels weird but these things happen.

-I got the part in the Vagina Monologues!!! “I was there in the room.” It was at first scheduled for Feb 28th which left no time to really study it since we have Mauritius and life around or after ports is hard enough to adjust. So it's moved to April 3rd which is perfect.

-I also got to start practicing "At Last" and "Lady Marmalade" for the Cabaret =)

Going to bed because I am tired and have nothing planned tomorrow. Will wake up on another beautiful island. Can't wait!!! Good night world! (10:29 pm here, I'm sure it's probably just about noon elsewhere! Lol)

Wednesday: Back to Ship Life

I missed breakfast.  

I woke up in time for my regular scheduled RA meeting with Amy. But promptly went back to sleep.

I missed lunch.

Woke up and devoured what was left of the junk food I had brought from Ghana. I had lucked out of all the sodas since I drunk all 4 of them the day I got back from the Habitat of Humanity trip on Monday. That heat caused some serious dehydration. Took my doxycycline. And went back to sleep.

I slept through my alarm to get up for my 4:15-5:30 pm class

Slept on past the beginning (5:30) and conclusion (7:30) of dinner.

Walked downstairs to the Purser's desk to buy two phone cards for the conference call with my future fellow City Year corps members. Yes, I spent $40 for 26 minutes. Tried calling around 10 pm (3 pm CST) but for whatever reason, it wouldn't connect when I punched in the access code for the conference call. So left the room, went up to the 7th deck, got a double hamburger, ate it while talking to Stephen. Then walked back to my room,

and slept until Thursday morning.

Who says it is easy to transition from land to ship life?

Tuesday: Last Day in Capetown, South Africa

Woke up whenever I felt like it. Lol. Decided to have a breezy relaxing day when I realized that any of my plans of visiting Cape of Good Hope or whatnot hadn't been finalized with anyone. Plus Jack was sick and quarantined by the onship doctor. He was bummed out about not being able to leave his room at all or having visitors. But it was better that he got sick the last day then during the stay. So it was me, my ipod and the rest of my rands. Excellent way to shop people. Excellent way! It was one of the best “me” days I've had in a while. I saw what I wanted to see, did what I wanted to do, ate what I wanted to eat, but most of all, brought what I wanted to buy. I finally did some shopping other than food. Lol. I realized that I didn't have anything substantial from any country whenever there were events on ship where they told us to wear our international gear. All I could think back about how I spent my money was on food lmao. So yes, finally got some stuff. Got back to the ship in time for lunch with Candice before she left. Had a great conversation about South Africa and how the true locals felt about the non-South Africans who are pretty much in control of this area—very unfortunate since this is the money generator. But goes back to the point I made back in my earlier posts about that. Then said adios and went to Jack's room. He needed to turn in his passport, a postcard and had to email a few lines of his assignment. Did that willingly for the sick child (haha) and lounged around. Can't remember whether or not I took a nap...probably did. Anyhow, everyone got back on the ship shortly and the announcements for the evening began. Then there was dinner... guess what we had: TACO NIGHT! Whoop! We had our suspicions that it was put not coincidentally but deliberately tonight because they knew there would be a lot of depressed and unhappy people about leaving South Africa—especially since we wouldn't be making up for a lost day. It was a great effort and received well. Lol.

Monday: Service Trip- Habitat for Humanity

Spent the previous night finishing up my account of the homestay for Marie (the communications/media reporter for SAS). She wanted to put it up on the SAS blog read by parents and folks. But anyhow, had to be up by 8 am for this service trip. I barely made it. I missed breakfast and was sad about that when I did drag myself out of bed. I got up with only a few minutes to spare. I actually forget what woke me up. Anyhow, tossed some stuff in my bag and grabbed my water and ipod. We were meeting on the pier. Got out there and it was a small group of people so far. Turns out a lot of people were no longer doing their service projects. I guess people didn't think Capetown would be as gorgeous and didn't want to be constrained. I gotta say, there were so many things I wanted to do and although we were going to be there about 6 days (minus one day for the weather, so 5). I had already half of my time eaten up by SAS trips. There was soooo much available. For one thing, all of the stores were alluring!!! I finally caved in and took money out. I wanted to buy everything. Seriously. Then there was the Table Mountain thing. I also wanted to do sky diving and sure I know it's available many places but I figured with the beauty of South Africa as a background, there was no comparison. I know plenty of folks who did it along with Caged Shark Diving. Neither are acceptable and if SAS found out they would get dock time. Our SAS insurance doesn't cover extreme sports...and I guess it's quite obvious to see how that makes sense. Then there was Cape of Good Hope, Castle of Good Hope which was the slave quarters...Cape Peninsula and Boulder Beach with the furry land penguins. Some SAS'ers went on wineland tours and came back pretty tipsy. Some went snorkeling. Some went on safari's. There was this booth on the walk for helicopter tours and I thought that would be cool...definitely wouldn't be covered by SAS insurance though. There was talks about visiting the District 6 museum. Oh the story about that is the government pretty much rounded up over 60,000 people and displaced them. As we left the city of Capetown, we drove through what looked like infinite rows of shacks where they were now housed. The museum served as an exhibit of what it was like prior to this. Again my point is there is so much to do in Capetown, SA and it is easy to get caught up in the glitz and glam...The habitat for humanity service trip was to build a house for a family who made less than 5,000 rand living in the district 6 shacks, which is about $723 in USD. The application process was very competitive as you can imagine.

It felt odd to be once again, traveling on a big mega-coach bus through broken down villages. We got there and had brief introductions and a “war cry.” Grabbed hard hats, wrote our names on labels and got to working. The previous SAS group before us had laid the foundation down for us so there was a skeleton of a house. What we would be doing was putting up the walls to differentiate the rooms. We would also create the steps and stoop, along with putting up the material for the roof. The last group who would come the day after us would finish up with the roof and whatever else was left. So we get started with the mixture to put between the bricks. We had to mix the sediment with cement and that wasn't an easy task in itself. Then, we created an assembly line to pass the bricks (which weren't ordinary bricks, but bigger, gray blocks) from outside and create a number of different piles inside. Just from doing that alone made me thirsty lol. We worked on and on, and it was very gratifying to see immediate progress. I thought about those in the construction business and see how it could be rewarding. I liked seeing what we were working on, develop right before our eyes. Very cool. Just very very strenuous work and the heat again, unlike any other sun. Heat or the sun rather, in Africa is serious. We finished up and got lunch (our boxed lunches). Mfundo took a long plank which we used as a bench to sit and eat. The boxed lunches from the ship are pretty full... we get a sandwich (not usually good though), a fried chicken drumstick, hard boiled egg, a piece of cake (we had banana nut), another type of snack (this time oreos, in the past, granola bar), a capri-sun, a fruit (got a green apple out of the bunch of us =) and some assorted condiments. The locals had took Eleanor with them to the store to get things for us but no one wanted to use the glasses they'd rinsed with the hose and drink some of the soda. That was like unspoken but obvious reasoning. We did try this bread like thing—it had the taste of a fried donut in that it was sweet but not overbearing. I guess it could be classified as a bread. It was very filling. Then it was back to working. I felt like I was dying. Definitely was taking a few breaks to drink my by then hot water, and hoping that the time would speed up. We worked on and on and finally we completed what we came to do. The walls for the master and second bedroom were completed, as well as the wall that would separate the kitchen from everything else. I had packed my camera but my bag stayed on the bus. We were working so much that I didn't even stop to take pictures. Fortunately Brittany (the SAS photographer) alternated between working and photographing. Before we left, we got in a circle and prayed again and did some team building chant. Hugged everyone and was on our way. We were stinky, funky, dirt and dust all over with cement and sediment on our clothes, faces and shoes. When we got on the bus, we all passed out and slept. I didn't even mind that there was little air.


Later that night:
I didn't notice my ridiculously two toned tan until I'd showered and change into a tank top. I had no idea it was as deep as it was. With the lighting in the 5th dining hall it suddenly became a lot more noticeable. The top of my shoulders remained its normal caramel color since I had worn a quarter sleeves shirt. From that point downward, was an oh so visible line where I had significantly browned several shades. Pretty funny. I'm going to take a picture for sure. But yes, that goes to show that African sun and heat is SERIOUS as I was talking about. Lol. Anyway, grabbed dinner with my roomie Mandy and Alex. Jack joined us as did Candice (the interport student from South Africa). We decided to head to the mall but we ended up splitting since Candice had to get back to working so Jack and I went. I found Eugene at the booth as he said and we chatted. Jack was across talking to the guy at a stand selling collectibles. Folks kept asking Eugene questions so I floated over and joined the conversation. The guy's name was David and he was 21 years old. What was crazy was he didn't have an accent and was from Zimbabwe, but he reminded me of someone from New York. Lol. Before long we were laughing, making jokes about Jack's obsession for collectibles, and answering questions about the ship. We literally stood there for hours talking to both David and Eugene. With just fifteen minutes to spare before the mall closed at 9, I went and got rands from the atm machine. Jack stood guard haha. Then we practically ran/walked really fast to the apple store which was amazingly different but similar... if that makes any sense. But they didn't have the dock with speakers he wanted so we left. Then we went to pick-and-pay which was the closest supermarket.. so many SAS'ers were coming back to the ship with bags of groceries. The minute we walked in, our faces lit up. I know mines did. It was simple but it felt like home. That's what Capetown, South Africa meant to us. It was the most westernized location of all the ports we had so far, and if we didn't know it then, we knew it now... we are creatures of comfort and that's what this meant for us. Walking through the aisles and seeing all of the familiar foods and seeing the deli sections with the salad bar, olive bar and routisserie stuff and not being concerned about dying if I ate or drank something was an enormous feeling!!! I wanted to buy everything! We went up and down aisles so excited, picking stuff up and sharing stories about them. The candy aisle was a hit!! As was the chips aisle! I ran for the Salt and Vinegar chips. Love those things! I'll even argue when I later got back on the ship and ate 'em, they were the BEST Salt and Vinegar chips I've tasted. But yes, it was awesome. Even though we had seen the KFC, pizza spot (which was where I had a bbq lamb slice, different but great),Haagzen Dazs (where we sat outside using the free internet until the managers got clever and tried to make us buy something), and some other fast food spots in the mall, the supermarket garnered a different response. Yes we enjoyed the greasy symbolic foods that made us miss America so much more, but that supermarket, I am telling you was awesome awesome awesome! We stood at the 10 items or less line, browsing through magazines of South African celebrities. Not much was referenced to the USA over-publicized celebrities and that was a-okay! We also ran into Courtney and some other SAS'ers, as well as Linval, one of my favorite dining stewards =) It was past 9 ish so David and Eugene were all packed and waiting for us when we walked out because we had planned to walk back to their booths and say bye. We looked for a good spot to take pictures and then opted to head outside. Eugene's bus didn't come until 9:30pm. We posed with the ferris wheel in the background. It is such a great backdrop.There were a lot of boats docked with options (pirate boat with a show, the sea princess for drinks and a cruise and some others).  I remember the first thing we saw when we looked out our window once in Capetown was this ferris wheel. At night it lit up and just walking down the strip filled with restaurants, bars and the shopping malls was a blast. Definitely a great port in terms of the number of options of what to do at night. But anyhow, we took pictures and split ways after exchanging information. Eugene also gave us information about where to go for the evening in Camp's Bay...

Late late that night...
Jack wasn't feeling well so I went along with Sarah, Courtney and some other people. This time I got dressed but they weren't semi dressed lol. I just can't seem to get it right! Haha. Anyhow, the idea was to go to Mitchell's and figure the rest out which was what everyone else did. We got to Mitchell's and linked up with a ton of people like Mina, 'becca, Eylee, Louis, Eric... can't remember everyone – it was just a mad house and lots of SAS. Oh saw Cobie, Dan, Malachi, Kyle...just about everyone lol. We got a table just inside to get away from the chaos and agreed on a fishbowl. It was a mixture of alcohols with two or three lemonades, if I'm correct. It was bright blue in color and when we got it definitely loaded with more ice than anything. It was great fun though. There were about 8 straws or so for each of us and we took pictures and turns. There was confusion about the go-to spot whether it would be some gay club called Bronze? Or Mercury, a club we had no clue about but was hearing about just then. So we chose Mercury since SAS in big numbers = power haha. We headed towards the taxi ring to get a cab to longstreet since the perception was that Mercury was one of the many clubs on longstreet. We also had this no tolerance attitude and wasn't going to be cheated to get there since we were all operating on limited rands between us all. However, the first guy was determined to make a point when we told him we wouldn't go for anything other than 30 rands. We had taken the cab just yesterday in a metered taxi and realized that the 40, 50 and 60 rands charged by different drivers was clearly ridiculous. This dude takes out some rands and says he will make a bet with us and if we get any cab to take us to longstreet for 30 rands he'll give us the money. Of course they would charge us more because they assumed we wouldn't know. We ignored him and he stood there taunting us. Then several other cabs came through and we started walking up to them to ask the driver but then this dude made a point of walking up to each of them and saying a few words to them. They would all pull off after we asked them. He came back up to us and gave us a price which we said no thank you, and he huffed and puffed as we walked away. That felt good, just gotta say lol. We walked back towards the direction of traffic so that we could get to someone who hadn't spoke to him. The guy we got charged us $35. The only reason why we complied was because cars generally suit four so one of us had to squeeze just so that we didn't have to split into two cars lol. It divided evenly between us anyway so that was cool. What we thought was originally a good guy turned out to be a crook as well! So, we get to longstreet and pay him but he's then telling us that Mercury is on the other side of town. This dude.. mm mm mm. We were sitting in shock not really sure what to do because here he was telling us that he didn't know we meant Mercury the club and we were looking at him like this little liar! What else could we have meant?! He obviously picked us up because he wanted the money that the other cabs were missing out on. It also became clear that he expected us to stay and ride to the club which would then cost us another cab ride... ahh cab drivers. They've outdone themselves in all efforts to cheat us in every freaking country. Lol. Needless to say, we got out, asked the policemen who confirmed that Mercury was indeed on the other side of town. Decided to just stay on longstreet but there were limited options. We found ourselves in Dubliner, an irish pub. Walking in it was wild. It seemed like a fraternity party and the male to female ratio was nonexistent. There was a lot of drunk people and it was just over all not a very comfortable atmosphere. Towards the back was the bar so we headed there to figure out what to do. Courtney was trying to be optimistic and saying we could make it work haha. Eylee and Sarah was filling it out and already getting into. Me and Mina were kinda like what on earth did we just step into... haha. We actually took a picture with our “WTF” faces. Haha. Courtney ended up leaving with her roomies to go to Mercury. We weren't sure we would meet up up with them but the night was still young so who knew. We left Dubliner to take a walk up and down and see if anything else was open. We get to this place where we hear music and decide to just check it out and either stay or leave. There is a guy sitting out by the door and to get in requires ID. I then realize Courtney has my ID and that stirs up the panic where we are wondering how I will get back on the ship and into my room. The guy asks me for my name and lets me enter with the girls. He kinda grabs my hand and say somethings that I ignore.. lol. We walk up there and beeline for bar/kitchen area and leave once we realize there is no one up except for one or two very very drunk people. We were also hungry and couldn't get food there. We make our way down to leave and the guy says my name and some other stuff and I roll my eyes, glad we were leaving lol. Head across the street when Eylee sees a sign for 10 rand shots. Upon walking in, it seems okay... there are wooden tables and chairs, a bar area with stools, pool tables and tv's. She and her roomie Sarah mull over the menu and take a bunch of vodka and tequila shots. Meanwhile me and Mina are sitting opposite of them and are able to see what's happening in the bar area. There's this lady who we presumed to be a prostitute urging this guy to take her home... she had an interesting method to make her case. Definitely couldn't believe our eyes. Then the more we looked around we begin to realize that it was a pretty shady spot. We coulda sworn we were surrounded by prostitutes and men in there who expected or wanted some type of service. Eylee and Sarah, again were just taking shots with the suggestions from this woman and had no clue. Lol. Then this one particular guy came over to our table and took it upon himself to stand over us and give suggestions about what to drink (there was a menu with very promiscuous names). He also didn't work there but he was leaning over us and taking the empty shot glasses and bringing it back to the bar. Strange, just strange. Mina and I were hungrier than ever and the night life was killed when we realized nothing great was open... lol. So we were going to get food but Eylee and Sarah wanted to get out of there once they realized how strange things were getting lol. When Eylee got up to pay at the bar, she came back and said the bartender told her that the guy (creepy one) liked her a lot and was taken back by her breasts hahahahaha. She also asked her what was she going to do about it. Eylee was creeeeped out she was like what do you think I'm going to do about it...hahahahaha. Just confirms our suspicions. We got outta that place! Crossed the street to the burger spot but everything looked so sketchy, the guys hanging around looked sketchy lol. It was turning into a sketchy night from beginning to end. So we headed back towards Dubliner but Mina and I noticed the McDonald's sign from afar... we decided to walk there, eat, come back  and hopefully our not so sober friends will have danced and be ready to leave. The walk was a lot further than we though haha, but when we got there it was the most upscale Micky D's we'd seen. It was like a modern, deco space. Very cool. We ordered big mac meals haha. =) Ended up having a deep conversation about SAS expectations and the people we call peers etc. Until we finally realized so much time had elapsed and we needed to get back to the girls. We also didn't realize until we walked towards the door that all of the employees were sitting in the front waiting on us to close hahahaha. We were sooo embarrassed that we kept apologizing, we had no idea. Lol. Sped walked back since it was even shadier than the first time. Got to Dubliner, walked through looking for the girls didn't see them, but saw the piano bar steward and one of the dining hall guys. If we thought the people there were drunk before, this was a whole 'notha level. It was utterly disgusting! Two of the drunken guys were slobbering over Mina – one grabbed her, another was touching on her hair and we had to like push them off. No bueno. She was shaken up, I was shaken up... and we just kinda ran out lol and grabbed the first taxi we saw back to the ship. Explained to the gate keeper I was from the ship just didn't have my ID, got to the foot of the gangway and the steward radioed that someone was without their ID, the stewards who do the bag checks looked down and saw me and fortunately recognized me so he let me up. Feels great to know how safe our ship is though. Called my room phone and my roomie left the door ajar =) Thus concluded that very very long day as you can see. So much happens in a day, even more happens in the evening!

Sunday: End of homestay

We left from Mama Knox's house once all the SAS folks got back with their mama's. It was Mama Knox's birthday so we also sung to her. After some pictures we piled up on the mega-coach bus we came in and left. The kids who were from the neighborhood followed after the bus yelling goodbye and waving. So cute. While on the bus, Courtney and I decided what we would do. We had SAS trips planned at different times on Monday and Tuesday. But we had the rest of the afternoon free. We had originally planned to do Table Mountain but we didn't have a clear agenda. Some of us wanted to hike it up and then take the cable car down....just for the satisfaction of having done it. Others were not interested in hiking lol, and wanted to take a cable car both ways. So with all the confusion and stuff, we decided to leave it for another day and get our hair braided. I hadn't had braids for the longest time so I knew that would be difficult to get used to again, but hey, when can you say you got braids in South Africa? Just went ahead for the experience. We came back on the ship to drop some stuff off and change (since we were just getting back from the overnight). Then, we asked the South African guide named Eugene who was sitting at the field activities desk. We didn't expect to get much help since he was a guy and plus it was a Sunday, but he was very helpful/ He told us that there was a huge craft marketplace with shops and there was a Hair braiding unit indoors. He offered to walk with us since the tourism company he worked for was along the way. Naturally we were complied. As we walked we talked about things and learned that he had worked for the voyage some years back. He said that when he heard the ship was coming back, he told his boss he had to be the one to work haha. He loved the ship. He kept saying how he would love to hide in one of the empty cabins and rotate whenever a steward came in to clean. He wasn't the first person who jokingly asked us to hide him. I can name a few people –eh hmm... lol.  He also told us that he had the opportunity to work in Florida for about 7 months for work. He said the first 3 months was very hard just getting used to it, but after that he loved it. It was very funny how the conversation took a turn. We were in South Africa and getting advice on where to go in Florida. It was so ironic and he thought it was the funniest thing since I had never been. That was our point, Courtney and I kept saying. People overseas don't understand how big the United States was.  He along with Tumi had the idea that we were violent people, but gave us the pardon after spending time with us. I just thought it was the funniest thing. Media sure has a way of doing things. Anyhow, we part ways and he tells us to come by the tourism office or stop by the desk on the ship when we get back. Courtney and I completely walk the wrong way after his very simple directions (as we see now). But eventually, we wander into it. Neither of us were sure what we wanted and I had just cut my hair prior to SAS and was working with a curly mop so I didn't know what to do. This pretty little gypsy looking woman selling these artistic looking clocks across from the hair braiding area was very vocal and helpful. She was telling us to get color and “go wild.” “Just do it” was her model. We only live once and we were in South Africa so we have to go for it was her philosophy for us. Gotta say she was very convincing and we were excited with the idea of it anyways lol. Before long, Courtney was getting corn-rolls with both black and burgundy. I was getting “normal” braids with blonde and black. Hahaha. Didn't have a clue how it would look but I believed because everyone else did haha. Not to mention, I figured what the heck... I could always take it out. It isn't permanent, thank Gosh. Lol. Anyhow, we had a couple more conversations while the woman started on Courtney's hair. I didn't catch the hair braider's name but she did tell us that she was from the Congo and came to South Africa for her husband. Anika was the name of the woman selling clocks. She told us she was born and raised in Capetown which was a rare comment since we'd been talking to people and very few were native South Africans. Capetown was full of non-South Africans working which says a lot about the disparities we saw once we had left the beautiful touristy area for our township stays. The thing I appreciated about it was the diversity though. Anika looked hispanic and many of the South Africans we met like Eugene. Anyhow, the hair braider did about two braids before Courtney stopped her. She wasn't happy with the way they looked and mostly due to the braider's inability to really braid her hair. She had also cut her hair prior to this trip and it hadn't really grown much. She paid the braider a bit for her time though but that kinda sucked since I knew how much she had wanted it. So when the braider started on mines, she did two and stopped, telling me to look in the mirror and make sure I liked them. Since mines were more like individual braids or big micro-braids, they were fine. She started my hair at 12:30....we didn't get done until 4:30pm. I was the big anxious kid. I was shuffling my feet. I was moving around. I was hungry since we hadn't eaten since earlier at breakfast with our Mama's. I didn't anticipate sitting still for so long. It just reminded me why I don't do braids. I don't have the patience. While my hair was under construction (lol), people were walking by and googling. It was as though I was on display. I did a lot of smiling. My cheeks were sore for a couple of hours. There were a few young girls who wanted a braid or two and others who wanted a streak of a bright color but they had parents who dragged them away really fast haha. There was this old couple who thought it was the most intriguing thing and came up close asking questions about how it was done. She stayed to watch a braid and walk away marveling. Haha. Most who stood watching asked the same questions: “Does it hurt?”, “is the hair heavy?” and “how long was I sitting there?” I entertained them with answers and the braider and I shared a few laughs. In the meantime, Courtney did some shopping and got a custom dress. The seamstress came over and we talked a bit about places Courtney and I should check out to eat. She was hilarious. Anika gave me an apple because I had eaten all of my candy from my bag lol. I was telling the braider that she could make the braids king-sized or bigger but she laughed and continued with the consistent pattern. Anika kept giving me the countdown when it was almost done. Lol. Sigh. It was excruciating sitting there. Seriously. I'm not a braids person anyway because I get antsy after a few days to take 'em out. Plus we didn't know if the folks we were gonna meet up with on the ship would still want to squeeze Table Mountain in that night. There were discounts for going later at night, and the best pictures or view was just before 6 pm to catch the sunset. Next time, corn-rolls or something shorter most definitely. When we were done, I was happy with the results—a bit shocked though to say the truth. We also talked with another woman who warned us about the Somalian pirates. But it was time well spent, I learned a lot from these women. We walked back to the tourism place but Eugene was still at the ship so we caught up with him there. He was out on the gangway, preparing to swipe and leave. He told us that he was off but had waited for a bit. He was shocked when I told him I had literally just finished getting my hair braided all this time hahaha. We ended up talking in Tymitz Square some more. Mark Anthony came through the doors and joined us. After talking about places to go out to that night (Camp's Bay), Florida, South Africa, ship life, and people in general, Eugene's job called him asking where he was. He told them he was walking back haha. So we said goodbyes and he told us he would be working at the info desk in the mall on Monday but would be off on Tuesday. We decided to drop by on Monday. We all took pictures and then he left. That night I went to dinner with Anna, Tatiana, Kayla and Sarah. I didn't know we were getting dressed up lol, so I was casual but they looked lovely. We went to longstreet to get Tatiana's stuff from the hotel she'd stayed in the night before while we figured out what to do for the evening. Most things were closed since it was Sunday so we just returned back near the Waterfront. We went to Mitchell's which was the proclaimed SAS spot this port. Everyone started off there and then went elsewhere...or not. There was great music, food and a bar/restaurant area. Everyone ordered and I went for the Chicken and Calamari basket. Left early when they started getting drinks and shots with the waiter. Was tired and kinda out of it. Went back and slept =)

Saturday: Reflections of my homestay in the Tambo Village in Gugulethu Township of Capetown, South Africa

 
I never quite knew what it was like to be “Coloured.”  The first time I heard it was during Mama Titi's introduction. The word did not register in my mind. The second time, I paused the conversation and asked how I would be classified. For the first time in my life, I wasn't “Black.”

I never knew there was a difference. In the United States, there were mostly two denominations: Whites and Blacks. But I soon found that as a Filipino, Native and African-American woman of a caramel hue, I was no longer any of the above, but rather “Coloured.” Coloured people were different, Mama Titi explained to me that night during my homestay. They didn't know the struggles of Black people, she continued. They weren't white--where they could walk around freely, do as they wanted, or avoid some of the ridicule and outward racisms--they had an easier life because many were a mixture of White and Black.

Mama Titi told me that being Black was not something they were proud of growing up. The treatment for Blacks was so bad that Coloureds did whatever they felt necessary to distinguish themselves and thus made the wedge deeper. While she nodded and seemed to listen to my discourse about the similar, but different issue of slavery and segregation in the U.S. where Coloureds and Blacks were one in the same, I could see that after so many years of such a division and her brutal experiences as a Black in South Africa, it was difficult for her to fathom or be as empathetic for “Coloureds.”

We moved on and spoke about the issue of education. There were schools for Whites, Coloureds and Blacks. Her mother was fair-skinned and was able to get her children through “Coloured” schools as opposed to Black ones. I told her about the similar issue in the U. S. where schools were once segregated based on the dichotomous thinking of the nation: White schools and Black schools. But Black schools in South Africa were useless because they were of poor quality, Mama Titi kept reiterating. This I could easily grasp. It made sense that those who were oppressed would have limited access and what was designated would not be as substantial.

Mama Titi said that as she got older, she got darker and began receiving the treatment that other Blacks faced. But shockingly, her feelings of hatred and resentment towards those who killed her brother during Apartheid were recently removed. ? In silence, I listened to her speak about how difficult it was for her to move forward emotionally, physically, and spiritually until she forgave. She admitted that there was a time when she never thought she could accept a White or Colored in her home. Prior to my visit, she had another student of European descent. She gushed about the experience and I sat in awe.

To further demonstrate the existing inequalities and disparities, even though Apartheid has officially ended, she sent me to the store with her daughter-in-law, Tumi. I asked Tumi who was born in 1988, if she had any experience with racism. She admitted that it was hard being Black due to the names she was called. She also said she was still searching for a job since she wasn't in school. Mostly Coloreds had the good ones, she said.

As we crossed the grassy median, Tumi pointed out the areas where Blacks lived. The house where she and Mama Titi lived was one of many in what she said was a Black section. I asked her where did the whites live and she started laughing. They lived far from this particular area, she said. The store we were heading to was owned by a “Coloured” and on this side was where the majority of “Coloureds” lived.

As we walked up to the barred window to order what was needed, I suddenly felt nervous. I could feel the curious stares and I wasn't sure how I was being received. I was relieved when we left and I wasn't quite sure why. Did people automatically assume I was Black? Coloured? Were those who were foreigners automatically classified as well? One thing was clear: while the “Coloureds” and Blacks were friendlier now, the tension still remained because Tumi mumbled a few things under her breath as we crossed.

Even after my departure from Mama Titi, Tumi, and the village where they lived, I have had the hardest time comprehending this. I truly couldn't wrap my mind around it. Why, in every civilization, did someone have to be inferior? I didn't understand why classifying people by the color of their skin served as a common grouping strategy in recent and ancient history.  

Furthermore, why “White” seemed to be the universal interpretation of being superior in many cases shocked me. It grieved me to think that the South African Coloureds and Blacks have the relationship that they do, while they would all be oppressed in U.S. American history.  It was another indication of how easy it can be to destroy people's minds and make them hate themselves for things over which they have no control (i.e. skin color).  So many questions arose from this overnight South African stay. I know there can never be a suitable answer to explain such racial injustices, but incredibly resilient and courageous women like Mama Titi have resulted from such difficulty.

--A few other comments:
I had a very detailed account of what happened but I don't know where it is or what happened. Could be in my notebook, either way, I don't have the strength to type it all up again so tough bazookies. Jut fast forwarding... There were originally 30 SAS students signed up (two per household), but only 27 showed up. I had the option of being the 3rd "child" at a house with two other SAS'ers or go alone to one house. I opted to go alone. WHat better way to learn then to leap in 100% uncomfortable, stripped of ability to hide behind anyone else... great for impact.  Mama Titi and I had a great discussion about religion, church and forgiveness. It was a sincere, honest conversation that I felt myself choking up. Anyone who knows me, knows of my deep religious background and the state of my beliefs today. She was very wise in that she knew just what to say, how to say it. I sat in the kitchen watching her make Pap, Chicken, Potatoes and vegetables. The other cool thing was the joyous celebration dvd playing in the living room. It was so refreshing just to hear gospel music again. I don't know it was just comforting. We prayed before eating dinner. Funny interjection: we watched America's got talent and 40 year old virgin on tv hahahaha. Oh and I need to get into soccer or “futbol” and cricket. It was a big deal in Brazil...and in South Africa people looked at me like I was nuts for not knowing players and stuff. Then after talking to Tumi about guys and her whole situation about her daughter (Nladte)'s father, Mama Titi came back out and we prayed but first she asked that I lead them into a song. “Amazing Grace” was the only song I thought we all would know lol, went with that one. Immediately after the temperature seem to change and there was this seriousness. Mama Titi started speaking Xhosi  and Tumi was speaking Suti. Nladte was conveniently sleeping. Again, this huge grin was on my face just the fact that I was praying, something I was conditioned or used to doing at certain times back in the day with my parents. But the fact that I was in the house of virtual strangers in South freaking Africa, praying and partaking in this moment was totally unreal. Then the smile gave way to tears because suddenly I was aware of the magnitude of this experience and very grateful. After a stretch of 10 or so minutes, Mama Titi said some words and then she shook my hand, hugged me and said “God Bless you,” Tumi did the same. That night I slept in peace completely unperturbed by anything in my life.

Sunday:
Woke up around 8ish am because we had to be back at Mama Knox's by 9 pm and head back to the ship. I really wanted to stay and go to church with Mama Titi but eh, duty called. She made "porridge" or what was oatmeal for breakfast. Nladte was soo excited to see me. Tumi said that she jolted out of bed and started crying when she didn't see me. That was cute but I'm thinking bout her cry hahaha...poor Mama Titi and Tumi. She was crying when I really had to leave. Mama Titi told me to definittely come back which I intend on doing...she also said that previous SAS'ers stay with her when they do and extended the offer. =)

Once in South Africa...

Friday:
It took forever for the ship to get clearance. There was a line starting from the library up into the faculty and staff's Glazer lounge. As they mentioned, we had to walk grab it from our LLC, walk to an Immigrations officer who would ask us a question or so, stamp it, we smile, and keep it moving. When I got done with that I was anxious to find out what to do. Unfortunately, the Robben Island overnight Thurs-friday morning trip was canceled (obviously). We weren't clear as to whether we would get a refund and that was frustrating, but at the same time we understood it wasn't anyone's fault. The weather just didn't cooperate. Instead, there was a Robben Island tour thing that we got to do which would be separate of the original itinerary and perhaps deducted in the end... Some of the other folks with Safari trips with flights had it worse since SAS were unable to get several rescheduled.

The ferry to Robben Island was great. It was sunny and the water was bright blue. There were so many sea lions and they were just playing in the waters. Looked like the ultimate lifestyle. Fast forward, we started on the tour and it was blazing hot. I couldn't imagine being there on a regular basis. Our tour guide was a previous prisoner around the time of Nelson Mandela so it was humbling to be in his presence. His stories painted vivid pictures. We walked into the first cell where there was two bunk beds remaining and a mat on the floor. To our surprise the mat was actually a blanket and it was used by inmates. The tour guide told us that Mandela was given a bunkbed at some point because of doctor's orders (he had back problems) but he refused saying he wouldn't accept unless everyone got the same treatment. Naturally, no one else did so he resumed his post on the floor. They slept in rows on the floor with their mats, they faced the same direction. At around 4 am, the warden woke them up over the intercom. They promptly got up, folded their mats and blankets and had to wait until they got inspected. We saw a sample identification card. If a prisoner was found on any of the premises without it, he would face severe consequences. We also saw a poster indicating rations for breakfast, lunch and dinner. There was direct instructions as to what Coloreds and Asians would eat which was a lot different than what Blacks were issued. Very disturbing.

Within the long room was several barred windows. One overlooked the hallway next to the door. The tour guide said that on Fridays, the guards left the window open, so whenever they wanted to study or hold meetings someone would stand by the window and keep watch. Another interesting fact was that anything could be heard from the intercom. Prisoners weren't allowed to talk about politics. However that was the basis of their imprisonment and what they cared the most about, that they created boxes to place over the intercoms. Once the guards figured out that they couldn't hear anything from that particular room, they would send someone to investigate. But with look out spies, the prisoners would quickly dismantle their box and return to senseless chit chattering in the presence of the guards. The moment the guards were out of sight, the box was placed back. I thought that was extremely clever. The other cool point was hearing how the bathroom although it was freezing cold, served as the classroom for teaching and learning. It was amazing to hear how they had an educational system of rotation. I could picture all of these guys with their blankets wrapped around them, hunched over books. The tour guide mentioned a number of prisoners along with himself who were educated in the bathroom and now hold esteemed positions in South Africa including Mandela.

The interesting tidbit he disclosed was about the soap. The water from their showers were very salty so the original bar of soap they were given didn't cooperate properly. As in, there was no foam. Haha. They had to purchase some shampoo which the tour guide said he still uses the same kind to this day. A sad moment was when he talked about his father being killed by the wardens—their justification was that he was involved in a “terrorist” plot to overturn Robben Island. He hadn't known his father was coming to visit him, but visitors had to go through an ordeal just to see people on Robben Island. It was a place where those exiled essentially were sent. As he explained to us, mail wasn't even welcomed. They had what he called “Window Letters.” Where they received letters from friends and family and all they got were the salutations and the endings. The entire middle was cut out. In some cases, they got some pieces of the letters but entire or “radical” sentences were cut out. There was little that was allowed to be discussed. As you can imagine, when they wrote back, letters delivered were those that said little negative about the treatment of Robben Island.

We got to see the remaining quarters of the prison. I wasn't all too convinced that the cell he said was Mandela's was it...I mean, what we would know as tourists. They coulda plopped the mat and blanket and the few other items there just because.  There were no actual numbers on the cells. Plus it it's been what? Almost 20 years or so. Just saying.  But we got to pose with the master key to open the cell and take pictures while in it. I didn't have any spectacular moment of revelation though. I feel like I took more from the tour guides stories of what happened versus the physical aspect.

Then we got back on the bus for a tour around the island. It was huge and we didn't get to see all of it. It was interesting to see what was left or how it was being used. Most intriguing was finding out that over 160 families lived on the island. Employees had that option. They function using the post office, super market and other historic sites. Pretty wild. What was even more staggering was learning that former wardens, guards and prisoners coexisted together. Tells you something! Lastly, we got to get out for a bit and soak up the sun with the view of Table Mountain. My words would not give it justice. It was a sight to see and totally worth going back to South Africa to conquer. I unfortunately, was unable to hike it this time around.

Later that night:
Went out with a ton of SAS folks. We ended up in Marvels because it had the best music. Their drinks were definitely overpriced. Ian then found a place where there were multiple dancing floors and it was very fancy..but the locals were kinda standing around and we were the main attraction. Not very cool... so after getting shots for 5 rand...less than a dollar, we returned to Marvel's. We saw the stewards from the piano and pool bar. They were getting it in haha...Anyhow, great night!

Thursday's Update: So Close to South Africa, Yet So Far

There are a number of activities happening tonight. People like myself are extremely upset but what can you do? We can't be angry with mother nature. We don't control the wind, waves or weather for that matter. I am just wondering how can I reschedule an overnight trip to Robben Island. The latest announcements are that we should get into the berth sometime tonight. Immigrations work 24/7 so they are going to accommodate us and get it started tonight so we aren't delayed tomorrow morning. In the meantime, they've created a slew of activities. There will be an open mic tonight at 9:15, board games and stuff around 8ish. They've been showing movies all day. Saw Karate Kid—Jaiden Smith was soo freaking cute and amazing. I feel silly admitting that I teared up a bunch of times. Hahaha. I think I am just emotional these days. Salt is playing now. Later on, Toy Story 3 will follow along with Grown Ups. So anxious to get off this ship even though we've been falling all over the place. Stuff have been flying off the shelves, chairs are rolling and it's just obvious we are competing with a powerful force haha. We're sooo close, but yet so far. It's frustrating to look at the interactive map because we've been doing circles. But okay, enough about that. I am doing some office hours at the Field Office. Playing smooth jazz from my itunes and naturally I get back to thinking...

I sung for the Open micccccc!!! I was nervous and it was great fun to be back on the “stage” again. Actually it was quite a challenge because we do so much on a moving ship haha. I wasn't sure what I was going to sing. It was between a Yolanda Adams, Mariah Carey and Christina Aguilera song. When they called me, I went with the first that came to mind... so I sung “Hurt” by Christina Aguilera. I definitely had a rough ending (ahahahah) but those who aren't singers came up to me and said it was beautiful. I'm sure it was in its own right, I am just much more critical of my performance...naturally so. It was a lot more people who signed up for open mic this time around so it was a long show. I was some ways just before the end. I was getting anxiety haha. I felt great though when I was done, the support was there =) The next act after me was Darlene who did “hot stuff.” Her number was a riot as usual. Haha. Anyhow when the show finally ended, we left and milled around the piano bar. Jamie (the guy haha) started tinkering with the piano and we all started singing along. Haha... next thing you know it was Shirley, Ian, Melissa, Courtney, Obai and a few other folks. We were jamming, just singing =) Eventually we took it to the classroom and sat in a circle singing some old 90's stuff. Then Karen, myself, Courtney and Obai ended up talking late night and watching a movie in Classroom 1. We were surprised about the cords being out... long story short, fell asleep and we woke up to the crewmen getting the dining hall ready for breakfast hahaha. Crept out and went back to sleep for a bit before getting up for breakfast.

Stuck in a wind storm in Capetown, South Africa...

Soo.... its 12:05 noon and we are still on the ship--furthermore, we haven't docked yet. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! we were supposed to be here and docked by 7 am. The thing is the winds are so strong and waves are ridiculous, that the captain can't dock. He's the one who does the parking. lol. And apparently the one we were supposed to come in at is very narrow. Then a few hours later they mentioned trying to dock at an alternate port. Womp womp, the winds are too bad out here. If we decided to just do it, who knows what will happen. At the present moment they don't have any updates or know when we'll be able to pull in. We are kinda bouncing and buoying in the ocean lol. The waves look magnificent and have us ricochetting. I've been knocked out but womp womp. I'm supposed to be doing the Robben Island overnighttttttttt!!! i was supposed to leave 10 ammmmmmmm!! Oh the woes of being at sea... we are but dots in the ocean!!

We're hours away from Capetown, South Africa

We've talked about it here but it is easy to understand why a person could be lonely. I emailed my best friend once saying this and upon his reaction it suddenly became difficult to explain. People who aren't in your shoes cannot really fathom, since reading what I do on a regular basis seems to be enough. We (SAS'ers) are in close quarters but are essentially strangers.  After a challenging class, after a long day or whatever may strike us, we check our emails hoping to get that familiar assurance. Think about it. We went from a world of constant technology for easy communication with those we hold dear to us to...uh this email account. It's easy to get caught up in the doing. There are club meetings and port activities...That is physically engaging and stimulating... but we are still getting to know each other. Every last one of us.Remember how you felt in high school? After a few weeks or so a good amount of cliques and romantic pairing breaks off. Everyone is looking for that emotional connection that they've shared with closed friends and loved ones... Plus, we are trying to process and decipher some of the atrocities and disparities we view during our explorations of life in these countries. Add the SAS guilt and etc. Building a deeper connection to meet our needs is obviously going to take time and is a byproduct of trust but we are constantly thrust into things. We are constantly in each others faces haha. Whether its in classes, meetings, workshops and seminars. You wander the halls and everyone smiles but they don't know you. This voyage, this isolation, this change stirs up so much that we don't always realize how much we may alter our personalities. People are still searching for the right time to "be themselves." It's a great place to be but at the same time there is the price that comes with it.

 

It is 1:55 am or 13:55 our time. It must be 5 or 6 pm back home. Tonight is a pretty quiet one. Malachi went to bed early and we tiptoe out when Kyle started making calls back at home. He ran out on his family and went up to Tymitz square to buy another one and catch up with some friends. It is $20 for 13 minutes and it actually cuts off on the 12 minutes. You can call back for the last minute haha. I am sitting in one of the classrooms with Courtney, Obai and Kari. The medical team told us we can eat the food and drink the water in South Africa which is also wonderful... Unless we are going in rural areas we would take some precautions, but just to get those instructions creates the feeling of normacy we all desire. We started talking about relationships to food... got into details!! Chipotle, Roscoes Waffle House, Ihop, Popeye's biscuits, Boston Market, Bacon Cheeseburgers, greasy crappy American food just sounds so comforting and delicious right now... We all definitely swooned over the idea of getting Chinese food again hahaha... Now they are discussing politics... how Palin would have faired as president... how life with Hilary as president woulda been, ya know that kinda stuff.

 

During the pre-port, the ship was rocking so hard. The speakers couldn't stand straight hahaha. Actually it was so much fun just watching people fall all over the place. We also found that our disembarkation process will be different. The ship runs smoothly when it goes faster if that makes any sense. When we creep or go slower than normal, that's when there is a lot of rattling.For one, the immigrations process will not just be a closed meeting between SAS officials and the Embassy of the country. Instead, we will all have to physically go through the Glazer lounge, pick up our passports and smile at the South African customs dudes. They will call us by seas and those who have the earliest pre-sale trips...this will delay our process a bit. Tomorrow I have the Robben Island Overnight. We don't meet at the Piano Bar until 10 am, and then we come back Friday at 10:45. We are getting off at the Waterfront pier. There is a huge mall upon arrival with wifi and that is gonna be awesomeeeeeeee!!  In the past there was a Planet Hollywood and IMAX theater right in the area. The fact that it got blown up some years is alarming but no worries haha. This is apparently one of the biggest ports in South Africa. Everyone keeps telling us how beautiful it is that the anticipation factor is skyrocketing around here. Dean Dan's whole preport speech was about making sure we don't get caught up in all the familiar comforting stores and activities here and make sure we dig deeper and remember SAS mission. He doesn't have tell me twice. I don't do too many touristy things in ports.

 

 

An Evening's Worth...

Right now I am sitting in Tahira's Business Computing Workshop. It is informative. Learning about how to format a resume. Now you may think how on earth did I get where I've gotten, without knowing this.... Really, I am not kidding. It is more of a discussion about Microsoft Word and understanding all of its functions. Honestly, she is showing us things that I never even knew. True, we use Word as early as middle school and it is a prevalent and necessary application, but how often do we use all of the functions or understand their meanings for that meaning. If you are like most people or like me, we tend to ignore what we don't know and just bee-line for the icons we do. We get what we need done and who cares about knowing any more than that. But I see the light now =) I am excited to work on my next resume and report haha.

On the other hand. I can't stop smilingggg! I'm so proud of myself. I mentioned the Vagina Monologues auditions yesterday. I'd wanted to be a part of it but wasn't familiar with it and didn't feel like creating my own original monologue/piece to perform. There were very few scripts left at the activities desk so I grabbed the only one I'd skimmed through. It is called “I was there.” It is very explicit and you are taken for a ride until you realize that it is about someone watching a mother give birth. Anyways, there was sooo much happening today in terms of programming. I wanted to do so much and didn't think I would get to the auditions in time. There was talk that it would be held tomorrow as well so I figured worst case scenario I would go then. I needed more time to mull over the part and give it the intensity it needed. So I went ahead to the deep relaxation program. I walked in the union and there was tropical sounds of water and birds chirping. People were sprawled out everywhere. I got comfortable on the floor but couldn't manage to shut my brain off. Meditation or silencing the brain is hard work!! When it ended I saw that I had some time before my next meeting... so I figured I could squeeze the auditions in... The safest bet was to go in with something original. No one would be holding the papers and know when I missed my line... I was only worried that I would be reading and lose the intensity or something. I sat and thought for a bit, then scribbled something once inspiration struck. This is what I got:

I can't remember his face anymore
I can't remember his face,
anymore.
I hear his laugh
My mama always said he had a crazy laugh
(laughs)
and I hear his voice telling me he loves me
I am his only daughter
and I remember his teeth
oh, they were so white
the way they glowed when he smiled
(smiles)
I loved my dad's smile
but I can't remember his face
anymore
I swear I try
I tell you I try
why can't I remember?

With enough repetition and choppy sentences it would be easy to remember. So ran into the bathroom on the 5th deck and went as far as locking the outer doors haha. I didn't want anyone walking in on me practicing. So I begin practicing...and suddenly I had tears in my eyes. I knew I had gold. Grabbed my stuff and dashed out in pursuit of the classroom. ← haha that's a bit melodramatic. But I did get out there as fast as I could since I had less than 15 minutes before the audition period would end. Ran into Dean Al who was supposed to be auditioning folks but was instead near the piano and asked. Basically, everyone naturally came within the first hour... told him I wanted to audition if it was okay and we walked into the garden lounge. He was trying to find two other people to be judges and so he gathered Alyssa and Raja. We walked into classroom 2 and the whole time I was wondering would I be able to deliver now that I was being put on the spot. I wouldn't consider myself an actress.. never did any major plays or anything... I'm a singer and writer. I enjoy the stage when I am in my element whether performing or competiting in the music realm... or when I am doing a poetry slam or spoken word cafes... acting never really crossed my mind...

I fill out this paper that asks what scene of the monologues would I prefer, acting experience I've had and some other stuff. Then the floor is all mine. I take a few breaths, staring at my sheet of paper. Then I begin. I hear myself. My voice is cracking because I believe the story I am conveying and because I believe the story I am conveying I am suddenly crying and as I am crying my hands are now trembling and further exaggerates my gestures. I can remember their faces—Raja looks like he doesn't want to so much as breathe, Alyssa's eyes are wide and looks like she wants to cry,  Dean Al looks at me intently and thoughtfully. I finish my bit and snap out of it laughing when someone opens the door by accident. I was also a bit apologetic for the depressive mood that seem to hang over the room (I guess no one expected the content hahaha me either) and they immediately say “there are no apologies in acting.” They are all nodding and saying it was good...I was more so looking for Dean Al's approval. He's in charge of the theater club and had us do improv exercises... I also know he has substantial acting and comedy standup experience. So when he tells me to change up and play the detached, emotionally removed person in the situation I am ready for it. It's obviously a lot easier to play the overwhelmed emotional person. So I give it a go and he's nodding as I complete it. Then it's over and I feel like a million bucks because they are telling me they are happy I went ahead and audition. Dean Al tells me we are going to have use my writing skills in writing skits and scenes for the theater club... which is cool for sure!! I find out tomorrow. I'm just happy I went for it and enjoyed it at that =)

Tonight was the first session of the psychotherapy group. On Saturday, February 12th, I hosted the Healthy Relationships workshop. I collaborated with one of the ship's counselor Christine, and Raja. It went really well. I was glad the way it flowed and it was good idea to distribute scenarios. They touched on long distance relationships and the barriers of communication, SAS guilt and love. Anyhow, at the end there was a sign up form for those who wanted to participate in a closed psychotherapy group. There is so much happening, so much processing that we want to be sure to get ourselves aligned internally to be able to make the most of all these external blessings =) Well thats my summation at least... haha. There was about 8 of us there tonight, our next meeting there will be 3 more joining us then it is capped and we may just split into two groups. The two counselors Christine and Anne were gracious. Can't wait for next week. In the meantime got to get back into school mode, I've been slacking. I am ready to get off the ship and dive into South Africa already!

Lunch! Ps, we are only two days from Capetown, South Africa!!!

Today was a repeat of fish and chips. This is our second time having it, the first time it was amazing. Ahh shipboard food. I can't wait to eat when I get off this thing. I've been desiring a Jamaican beef patty, with cheese and coco bread for quite some time or real food from anywhere. But back to lunch. At some point folks ran to the windows and people were whipping out cameras. They sighted a whale =( I had no camera on me... and in my hand was my loaded plate of food...I've waited long and hard to get a glimpse of a whale or dolphin so the randomness that it occurred kinda sucked lol.. The up side was the lunch with the captain. It wasn't as snazzy as it sounds. Actually, I kinda stumbled upon it. During lunch and occasionally dinner, there is a reserved oblong table for him. I always assumed people were notified ahead of time about dining with him. I was looking for Louis whom I had came with… but the minute I walked over to the middle section of the dining hall, one of the stewards asked if I would like to have lunch with the captain. I look over at the table and see other students eating with him. No lie, in that moment I wanted to say no. Actually, it was written on my face because the steward kinda laughed and said it'll be okay. So he grabs my plate and starts walking towards the table. He plops my plate down and pulls out my chair. To my right is a champagne glass (which he of course fills with….water!) and he produces this fancy lap napkin thing. I'm sitting on the same side of the table as the captain so that was an awkward seat in terms of trying to hear and communicate. At the same time it was enough distance so that I could think of intelligent things to say or ask. We were all trying not to stare at the food on his plate. Lets just say, there is fine cuisine on this ship, it just depends on the recipient.  There were a series of awkward moments where we were all fumbling with our cutlery and trying not to look sloppy gorging french fries and fried fish.. I mean is there really an eloquent way to eat it? Then there were the highlights. It was fascinating getting direct answers about things we've wondered about…and what better way than to ask the source. I will share what I learned:

We are the fastest moving vessel on the sea. Which is pretty funny because at times (and just by looking at the knots on the SAS channel) it doesn't feel like it at times. The ship has gotten better about determining routes both for safety and classes. So in some instances we may take the longer route just to make sure we get an adequate amount of school days in... phooey :( Who needs school? haha. In the event that we come across unsafe pirate waters there are some means to handle that... (speeding up insanely). In the case of the voyage in 2005, the captain said the ship went faster than he's ever driven. That should tell you something. They also eliminated the route they traveled through. Again, I am sooo excited to see what happens after Mauritius for us. Moving on, the ship can go about 11 days without refueling. The captain himself doesn't actually maneuver the ship, there is a General Engineer manager or a title similar who does. He is in charge of other things pertaining to the overseeing the overall function of the ship. We asked him about his internet access (haha) he told us his internet isn't as slow as ours but it isn't super fast. We apparently have the biggest bandwidth in terms of ships. But what makes it still slow are the data transfers. The way that they try to combat that is having a limited list of free sites and making students pay for internet plans if they use up our initial 125. This discourages the use of multimedia sites (youtube etc) and sites with a lot of data transfer (facebook). The captain also said that instead of having a semester at sea email account, he has a yahoo account. It is for storage and communicative purposes. With the number of data transfers he does on a regular basis he would clog up the internet access if we used the same server. Makes sense. I can't wait to sign up for a bridge tour.

There are about 250ish crewmen - about 15 or so are women, the rest are men. We have an incinerator on deck 1 which helps for burning things... out of the ships at sea (cruise lines etc), we are a leading edge in conservation. This is always a controversial conversation. I mean, you can't entirely be a green ship. Kinda an oxymoron considering the fumes, the gas consumption, waste etc. The question about food preparation and choices came up. Potatoes and pasta can be found at every meal... (pasta not so much during breakfast, but yes to potatoes). But the food is prepared in a way that is biodegradable (again, compromises the taste in our opinion) for the sea life. We sort things out to the very last detail. For example, napkins during dining hours are placed in one bin, silverware, meat/bones, rice and other similar things. There is a chute in the gallery in which when it gets full, the food is all dumped out in the ocean. The water sorting is a little more complex. We make our own water. There are restrictions to what water we can use in regards to proximity of land. For example, water was shut down while we were in Takoradi. For the four days we had no water from 10 pm- 6 am. This is because we were using from our purified stash and we would not be doing any intake until we return to the Atlantic Ocean. The reasoning is because the people of Takoradi had not had fresh water or clean supply for years. We also were not clear on their sewage system. As with all of our locations, this is important insight as to whether we can use the water. If the water is possibly tampered with/contaminated, we can't even think to use it. Makes sense. Liability issue. Plus we weren't even allowed to drink tap water while in Ghana. We didn't know where it came from. So back to ocean water. If there is anything in it (feces from sea animals) it is easily diluted (hahaha) and of course we have the filtering system. The first two days after we acquire new water or when fresh water is made is the worst to drink. Chlorine takes some time to degrade so it is the strongest then. You never really know what batch is fresh or not though so that's the catch haha. Everything down to the water in the showers, toilets and used for laundry service is clean. I had wondered if they didn't purify it to the maximum form if it was only being used for laundry, but that's not the case. We talked about his personal life. We asked him about how difficult it must be to travel so much especially by the sea. 

The captain told us he has been traveling since he was 18 years old. This is his second time on the SAS MV Explorer but he's operated previous cruise lines. He has a sense of humor and told us how it makes his marriage better. When he does come back it's almost like a honey moon all over again. There are strains on the relationship at times (which obviously happens) but he said he met his wife on SAS in 2005. He isn't the first to tell us that they found love on SAS. It's hilarious how many of the staff and faculty personnel who have fallen for a fellow SAS and now traveling with their significant others as previous SAS alumnus. This ship is quite the Love vessel. Gotta say, Valentines Day was a weird holiday to have here. Totally woulda preferred halloween or something. More for the comical standpoint. I think its wild that I will have sailed virtually most of the major oceans, seas/rivers. We sailed the Caribbean sea to get from the Bahamas to Dominica and Puerto Rico. Then the Atlantic Ocean, Amazon River and Rio Negro...then back to the Atlantic Ocean. We left the Atlantic Ocean and traveled upstream to get into Takoradi, Ghana. Don't know the name of that river. Now we are en route to Capetown, South Africa via the Atlantic. Once we depart we are entering the Indian Ocean to get to Mauritius (near Madagascar). We spend a day, the ship will refuel. From the map hanging in our rooms, I can't tell how far inland Chennai is. If it is, we may continue sailing via the Arabian Sea. To get from China to Viet Nam, we may take the Bay of Bengal or the Yellow Sea or East China Sea...or even South China Sea since we are going to Singapore as well. Once we do Japan we will be sailing the Pacific Ocean... and it will be another long stretch of classes and ship life since the next stop would be Hawai'i. But enough about things I am not even certain of. It's just amazing and exciting to think about. Especially coming from a girl who can't swim...but am having the opportunity to sail on what could be ominous waters. Feels like just yesterday we were getting back on the ship from Ghana... somehow time has elapsed and we will be arriving by 8 am Thursday morning. Insane. It took soo much for me to finally have the strength to write up what happened in Ghana. Just thinking about typing it all up was overwhelming. I had to force myself to get it out before we get to SA because if I wait, its a lost cause... and with the time advancing for us, we are all sleep deprived around here. Actually, we will be advancing it tonight another hour. In total, South Africa is +7 hours, Ghana was +5.Then there has been an influx of ship activities. It is college life all over again. You want to be involved because social interaction makes up the experience... so I've been running around like a loose cannon. There are movies being played in the Union (some for leisure, others/majority for Global studies),the SAS choir as well as practicing with John for the presentation Bill is presenting, Black Student Union (I am the event coordinator and met with Ian last night), meetings with Amy (planning Red Sea events and making sure I am upholding my RA duties)... there was the theater club meeting because we are planning a Cabaret. The theme is jazzy/bluesy... I am doing At Last and am one of 4 girls performing Lady Marmalade (which should be a blast but hilariousssss). There are the Vagina Monologue auditions taking place between today and tomorrow. For those unfamiliar it is a collection of monologues or scenes focusing on different struggles of femininity/womanhood (some examples include bits about child birth, rape, pleasure, abuse, identity/sexuality struggles etc), But it feels great to be exhausted.

Oh yesterday there was the "One Love" 2nd Club Union dance... it was supposed to be reggae music (according to the flyers). The theme was to wear any international clothes purchased thus far. I sadly haven't purchased anything substantial. I was supposed to buy a dress in Ghana but was so overwhelmed that I ended up using the 30 something cedis I had at a quiet supermarket on junk food. The peace of mind was worth it. I'm not too fond of aggressive salesmen haha. But after a bunch of techno and then eventual hip hop and latin music, we realized it was yet another cheesy SAS event. It was so much fun though. They kept playing the Shakira "Waka Waka" African anthem song. It was very fitting... Afterwards Freddy told me that they are  starting a latin dance club and asked me to join hahaha.They want to choreograph and perform that song for our upcoming South Africa pre-port meeting. What was cool was Raja and Alyssa (LLC's) who were "getting down" on the dance floor. Then it ended since its from 9-11 pm. We walked out and were trying figure out what else to do... snack time at 10pm in the dining halls had already ended...but then there was this massive group of people lounging in the piano bar. One guy was playing a popular song on the piano and everyone was singing along and rocking.. the name escapes me at the moment...It was awesome. Had a warm fuzzy feeling just being there. Then I ran into Ian in the dining hall in deck 5 ( most folks were studying in there) and solidified some Black Student Union programming.

Finally I got to delivering the Valentine's day cards I'd made for Anna, Kyle and Malachi (Obai had gotten his earlier). It was nerve wrecking. I'm not the greatest artist. I had limited supplies (paper and markers). Suddenly what I wrote didn't seem as funny. I wrote a different poem for each of them reflecting our friendship and incorporated some humor to keep it light of course... I wondered if they would even make it to the end of the voyage... if they would be tossed at some point. I wondered if people even cared about Valentines Day... I mean, I don't. This is my first time getting into it...and that's only because of Anna. Otherwise, it's a normal day. Funny story, earlier during dinner, Jack and I were watching people come in all dressed up (special dining was taking place...) and started singing "Lonely" by Akon. Elisabeth was so embarrassed, she kept trying to get us to stop and then later on decided maybe we should just change that song hahaha. We were talking about dressing in all black and roaming the halls while singing it...hahaha..  But back to Anna- she'd made cards for everyone and had packets of M&M's to go with it. Then I walked through the halls and there were all these notes and cards posted on folks doors and whatnot... What can I say? I got into the spirit... Funny how it wouldn't have been that difficult if I hadn't made them myself, brought them or even if they hadn't been homemade and perhaps just typed up on the computer. Mann, I was feeling so insecure and wasn't confident about them... that I kept going back and forth between tossing them... but after all that time spent on them I figured what the heck... and waited when Valentines was pretty much over to go ahead and deliver them hahaha. Like I mention, me and the guys don't have that kinda vibe going on... I get nuzzles on the head and we're pretty brutal with each other. To break outta character and send a cutesy Valentine's card would mean facing jokes... they would appreciate it for sure, but then it would be like an "aww" "c'mere and give me a hug" moment which we don't have too many of...and then we'll be back to our joking selves.  Malachi kept telling me to show him and Courtney was saying it was the thought that counted... but I was timid. Anna had posted our cards on our doors after 12 midnight when we were in our rooms and I figured that was the best way to go...  But Malachi opened his door and decided to stand outside the door (use the light of the hallway) to read it... He's gotta be the one to be so difficult... I couldn't be around to see the reactions so I practically galloped down the nearby stairs...haha. When I heard their door click, I headed back to my room. Shortly after the phone rings and its Kyle. He's telling me how he loved it and how surprised he was by the poem.. he jokes and tells me Malachi is in the bathroom and looked teary-eyed when he got out. hahaha. Anyhow, gotta run. Catch up with you good folks later.

Recap of the Castles and Slave Dungeons Trip

What I wrote Thursday morning but the internet wouldn't let me post:
My alrm went off at 6:40 am and I woke up immediately. All cleaned up, dressed and packed my little bookbag...this time I'm bringing a little notebook so I can journal during the experience. I'm also wearing a long sleeved black shirt... and sweats. I know it's blazing hot outside but I just didn't think showing any skin would be right. I don't know... just considering the occasion, just thought it would be a little more respectful on my part. I can always roll up my sleeves worst case scenario. My stomach is doing weird things. I don't know if it's because it's the morning and breakfast would be nice...or if it's in anticipation of what is to come. Bet it's a combination. I really don't know what to expect from this Castles and Slave Dungeons trip. Actually, my hands are shaking as I type this so I guess that's a significant indication of things. Think I'll give Anna and Obai a wake up call. We had a long day yesterday (or at least Anna and I) so wanna make sure they get up with enough time to shower, get dressed, grab breakfast if they can, and meet at the pier by 8 am. We won't be back until 1800. That's one aspect I was paranoid about last night. I kept checking my ticket to make sure it was tomorrow’s trip and wondering what I would do if I overslept and missed it. But enough about that. It's a somber kind of morning. I'm somewhat tired (still). Gotta update you guys on the African drumming & dancing on Sunday, my birthday on Tuesday (which was amazing by the way) and of this experience when I get back. But ok, I am going to head out now. Have an amazing day folks!


How thurs went:
Walked out and it was muggy as usual. But it had rained a bit so there was a dampness in the air... and not to mention the ground was wet. Folks said that it was lightening and thunder...I sleep so well on the ship...I never quite know what's happening in the middle of the night. Speaking of thunder and lightening though...you've never seen it until you've seen it on the Atlantic! I tell you, it's the weirdest but coolest experience you will encounter in your life. The sky and ocean is virtually infinite, so watching the lightening strikes  is almost like a 3 dimensional or 360 view. That also makes it more dangerous I suppose. But it is an incredible experience. Sometimes it was only lightening, the clouds would get bigger and it would get really low...it almost looked like they would touch the ocean...and with all this incredibleness happening and you wondered how that could affect our ship... But back to the trip... so got on the bus marked Tak28. A professor and Dean Al was our trip leaders. It was a ton of people signed up because it was marked as an FDP and some professors were on this trip with their students. I guess maybe the African Dispora class/History class. The tour guide was very talkative and his mic was really loud. Dozed off to sleep during the ride to the first castle of the morning... which was located hours away in Cape Coast. The name of that one... Cape Coast Castle. During the ride it was impossible not to wake up a few times... this guy's voice pierced through your sleep and not to mention, he kept cracking jokes and his laugh was amplified and carried further than you would want it to. Folks weren't really receptive to him because we were all tired...looking around most people were sleeping hahaha... I myself was a bit groggy and slightly irritated haha. Once we finally arrive, we get off the bus, he stops traffic so that we can cross the street and then we follow him inside. We have to pay 2 cedis or $1.50 USD to use our cameras. Naturally, most folks comply. This one professor launches into a whole bit about the bastions and things to look for. He talked from an architectural standpoint and after he kept talking it became bothersome. He wasn't the expert here... and why was he so focused on architecture? I thought there was more located in this vicinity than that. Shaking my head. The tour guide was patient though and let him finish his piece. Then we began the actual tour. He led us down the “male slave dungeon” outside the door, we read the plaque on the left, that was unveiled when President Obama and Michelle visited in 2009. On the right, was the vow that the living made in respect of slavery. It's powerful. “In Everlasting Memory of the anguish of our ancestors, may those who died rest in peace, may those who return find their roots, may humanity never again perpetrate such injustice against humanity. We, the living, vow to uphold this.” We followed the tour guide into the dungeon and its dark. We have to be careful not to slip because the ground is uneven dirt and it's moist. Our eyes also have to get adjusted to the lack of lighting in what feels like a tiny cave opening. We follow him by listening to his voice. He leads us to the area where there is a light. In the past, they used oil lamps he said. But this particular area was where slaves laid in anticipation of what was to come. He led us in singing “Amazing Grace.” I thought I recorded it but am sad that I changed to the video setting but forgot to press record. Anyhow, the hymn echoed in the space. It was an emotional moment. My voice kept cracking and there was an eerie presence in the midst of us all. The tour guide launched into details of the space. He pointed out the three barred windows in which other than the light from them, the room was pitch black. There was a shallow opening high up on the opposite end of the wall. Here was where the watchman sat. Occasional food and water was held up there as well. There were some white and odd colored lines on the walls if you looked up close. Those were the untouched lines from natural processes that occurred during the duration of the slaves stay. The only time urine and feces was washed away was when it rained and when it trickled in from the windows. Otherwise, slaves slept in the same spots they used the bathroom and/or vomited while chained. Unreal. Unbelievable.

We walked around some more. We got to the room where women were kept. To our dismay, discomfort and disgust, we learned that again, women stayed shackled and unbathed...the river of urine, feces, menstrual blood, and vomit was plentiful and they prayed for the rain which would be the only way it cleanse their living quarters and bodies. I can't begin to tell you how bad it smelled. It was the original floor as was majority of the castle and dungeons. I am thankful they have preserved it. It felt so wrong to be able to walk through the very same areas and be unchained. Not because I am of African descent. But because I am a woman and no woman, or human being for that matter---should be subjected to such an abuse. We examined the square where women stood to be selected for sex with any visiting/residing slave master. There was one well which all supplied all of the slaves water. It was a collection of rain water, and slave masters didn't use/drink the same water. It was considered degrading...and there was a speculation that the water fed to the slaves were perhaps contaminated (although the tour guide said this notion was not proven to be true). Once the male made his choice from his stance above, the slave was summoned to bathe before sex. She then climbed the ladder to his chamber and when the task was completed, she returned to her regular quarters for the continued, usual treatment.There was more to see and it was extremely disheartening, listening to the details. I don't think anyone wanted to know more after some instances, but its one of those situations where you don't want to know but you do. We got to look at the cannons and cannon balls which were still functional to a degree. They were located on different levels outside the watch towers as a means to protect the castle from any approaching civilization. We drifted in the big room where the slaves were traded and sorted based on fitness. We heard about the number of brands slaves would receive for easy identification. We ducked to fit through narrow passageways. I can only imagine what that was like to do while linked with 14 other people. We got to see the bedroom for the Governor's/master. Lastly, we stopped outside the “Door of No Return.” Just listening to the tour guide, and knowing what it meant made me sick. Those who walked through this particular door was never to be seen again. The masters took the regular doors to exit or enter because they were “above” their slaves. Plus they knew what that door meant so it was a big deal and it was difficult not to be emotional... We waited a few moments and then the guide unlatched the bolts and we walked through. Outside the castle were the same waters slaves looked upon... on the left side (shore) was a multitude of fishing boats and people. It was quite a community. On the outside portion of the door, it said “Door of Return” because those of us who were blessed (tourists in that regard) who walked through were experiencing the possibility of “returning.” Thus concluded the tour of the Cape Coast Castle. We lingered for a bit and then we left for lunch.

The best way to describe what I was experiencing was a mixture of shock, numbness and disbelief. I was silent on the bus ride. What was there to talk about? I knew that I would be disturbed for a while. You don't really “bounce back” after a visit like that. It almost seemed superficial that we would be heading to a beautiful hotel resort in Elmina to eat lunch and then visiting the oldest and first castle and slave dungeons (the Elmina Castle). The resort was luxurious and was called Coconut Grove. There were palm trees, and manicured lawns... swimming pools...signs for horseback riding, a crocodile pond, 18 hole golf course... and some other amenities. Definitely weird. The food was fantastic and the view of the waters was nice. But as I sat on the sand overlooking the waters, it was difficult to think about anything but the experience. We left and headed to Elmina Castle.

Elmina Castle was originally white (from the looks of it). It was very elaborate in terms of details and had something like a drawbridge. Once again, we split into two huge groups and began the tour. Much of the castles were similar. Something pretty infuriating that existed in both was the inclusion of church. Both (if not all of the castles) had a church right above the dungeon. In history, we can easily pinpoint extremists who had rather convicting “relationships with God/Allah” or any other spiritual persona. The fact that the church was right above the dungeons where people were treated worse than animals was irony in itself. Unbelievable. The only way to begin to understand is to think from the other person's perspective. They felt they were doing the right thing. Economically, slavery made sense. They felt they were doing God's will...Slaves are responsible for the construction of the global empire we now call the United States. To think that just in the 1960's, the civil right's movement was well underway and we were still begging to be regarded as fellow human beings with the same basic needs and rights... is un-freaking-believable in comparison to the struggle the slaves encountered. Going through the “Door of No Return” in this castle was a bit different. For one, the doors were a lot narrower and lower. I banged my head trying to get through it and I could only imagine trying to do it with chains. It also served as reminder that the sole purpose of the inconvenience was to ensure that slaves were unable to seize any moment and try to escape. It made me wonder about the slaves as individuals. What did it feel like to have been free and suddenly taken in captivity without so much as a indication other than the color of your skin condemned you? This redefines what experiences I have had in subtle racist situations...here, there is no getting around it. The reason why you were packaged as commodity due to the value of the dollar.

As a mixed individual of Native American, Filipino and some sort of African descent...it is quite an experience. I feel that everyone should visit the Castles and Slave Dungeons at some point in their lives and definitely bring your families. It is a part of history, a deep dark part of history that the US has yet to confront and take responsibility. It is after all, the only nation that hasn't formally or publicly really apologized for it. But that's another thing. Just as there are people out there that do not believe the Holocaust exist, there are folks who believe that the conversation of Slavery is trite and it is an over-talked about topic. Some people don't understand how it is relevant anymore. Younger generations like me are so far removed that there is a disconnect in terms of identity. With the combination of the religious background I had, I never actually felt connected to any particular culture anyway. So yes I was apprehensive. And yes, I looked at some of these European folks who asked me if I was excited for Africa xyz and replied as honestly as I felt. Just because I am “black” doesn't make me automatically “connected” and not everyone will have that “at home” sensation. I've never been to Africa nor have I ever really thought of myself as a descendent. I don't have the luxury to have direct lineage of my family history. In fact, one might argue to be at the state of not knowing is the saddest bit of all. It is interesting that I am identified by a continent—Africa(n) American...when there are a ton of countries in Africa, a diverse community of cultures, languages and traditions. I find it interesting that I am considered by black by some and brown by others. If you were a shade of purple, would I be granted the freedoms to call you Purple? Or Green? Or Teal? How is it that most people like me are easily called “Black” as means to define ethnicity...but non-”blacks” are either Italian, German, Irish, Scottish, Hondurian, Guatemalan, Puerto Rican...To be “Black” is vague. Ambiguous. I may have “Black” skin... but am I Jamaican? Dominican? Nigerian? Ethiopian? Ugandan? Haitian? Egyptian? You get my point.

I had spoke to the LLC's with Courtney and Obai earlier that week because of the ignorant comments and disregard fellow SAS'ers had about Africa. It had angered me and made me think of how our visit to Asia would be romanticized and how it had everything to do with the stereotypes of “black people.” It was an interesting phenomenon, watching this side of myself emerge. I don't have many “black” friends, but once in a predominately Caucasian setting, I realize where my strength comes from. I say this to point that it becomes obvious that I am not one of them...so where else do I fit but with the “black” people. I even wrote a poem and will perhaps perform it for the pre-port before South Africa. It is not okay to be ignorant when the sole purpose of this trip should be to respect and understand the people we meet and those backgrounds of others on the ship...

Along with what I wrote...Today, Monday, February 14th I attended a program called “Reflections of Africa from African Americans.” The attendance was diverse. I think that was important to note. I also commend those who showed up and participated. It is a touchy conversation, and numbers make a difference. It's human nature to feel comfortable when we feel we have support and aren't being attacked. One woman asked a very serious question. She asked, what does she do with her guilt... white guilt? When you take a moment and let it marinate the answer becomes clear. We live in a society where instead of acknowledging pain was inflicted and there is still discrepancy in redistribution of wealth and opportunities, folks would much rather make it a generalized note of an ethnic group. You can't suppress and hold an entire group of people for hundreds of years, then assess them as though they were on the same level playing field. Of course you won't have equalized results. If my ancestors had the opportunity to work (for pay) and accumulate property... perhaps there would be more folks like me with things to inherit. Perhaps we would be of the elite number of personnel in the world who dictate the way the governance of the rich and poor should go, and perhaps we would live in our own bubble and have little reason to think of others. I don't have it like that. And thank Gosh I don't have it like that. SAS has been lovely thus far, but there are truly folks from far and wide... and that isn't limited to mentality and wealth on this ship.

I am grateful that this trip has opened up the dialogue about race. I'm not talking about the censored stuff that we engage in back at home... in institutions, in job settings... I mean, the honest, raw kind of stuff. Where yes, people admit they feel guilty for the things their ancestors did. That is a valid statement. There are various reactions. There are the people who want to pick up the pieces and fix the problem that has lingered for centuries and still resonates. How it is tackled is in many ways. Obviously this is why we know why Affirmative Action came into play... there is a difference between empathy and understanding...and pity. Pity equates into hierarchy or an interpretation of supposed superiority... Then there are folks like myself, who by my reactions to others or my internal thoughts upon my arrival to Ghana wonder if I am playing into the innate self-hatred African-Americans were conditioned to feel... is that underlying my detachment to Africa? I appreciate the environment. I appreciate the physicality of the tools required for comprehensive learning. I know slavery existed. I know it is real. I could feel the presence of the suffering for myself in those oppressive quarters. I was not reading from a government, or altered textbook. I was not learning about a culture from those less familiar with it (or in some cases, less interested and simply following pro-tocal/curriculum). The probability of students going to Africa and discovering truths for themselves are slim. Therefore, it makes sense that we mention it in the same manner we mention history and developing civilizations... I will say this, we come full circle with ourselves. Whether we find out our cultural identities or not-- we at some point, arrive where we need to (or we die unfinished when and where we are destined). Some people do not need statistics or geneology to define themselves...they are just as happy with the truths and realities they create for themselves (and their future generations)... To each his own.. As for me, I just want to thank ETS for granting me the window to look into myself.