An Evening's Worth...

Right now I am sitting in Tahira's Business Computing Workshop. It is informative. Learning about how to format a resume. Now you may think how on earth did I get where I've gotten, without knowing this.... Really, I am not kidding. It is more of a discussion about Microsoft Word and understanding all of its functions. Honestly, she is showing us things that I never even knew. True, we use Word as early as middle school and it is a prevalent and necessary application, but how often do we use all of the functions or understand their meanings for that meaning. If you are like most people or like me, we tend to ignore what we don't know and just bee-line for the icons we do. We get what we need done and who cares about knowing any more than that. But I see the light now =) I am excited to work on my next resume and report haha.

On the other hand. I can't stop smilingggg! I'm so proud of myself. I mentioned the Vagina Monologues auditions yesterday. I'd wanted to be a part of it but wasn't familiar with it and didn't feel like creating my own original monologue/piece to perform. There were very few scripts left at the activities desk so I grabbed the only one I'd skimmed through. It is called “I was there.” It is very explicit and you are taken for a ride until you realize that it is about someone watching a mother give birth. Anyways, there was sooo much happening today in terms of programming. I wanted to do so much and didn't think I would get to the auditions in time. There was talk that it would be held tomorrow as well so I figured worst case scenario I would go then. I needed more time to mull over the part and give it the intensity it needed. So I went ahead to the deep relaxation program. I walked in the union and there was tropical sounds of water and birds chirping. People were sprawled out everywhere. I got comfortable on the floor but couldn't manage to shut my brain off. Meditation or silencing the brain is hard work!! When it ended I saw that I had some time before my next meeting... so I figured I could squeeze the auditions in... The safest bet was to go in with something original. No one would be holding the papers and know when I missed my line... I was only worried that I would be reading and lose the intensity or something. I sat and thought for a bit, then scribbled something once inspiration struck. This is what I got:

I can't remember his face anymore
I can't remember his face,
anymore.
I hear his laugh
My mama always said he had a crazy laugh
(laughs)
and I hear his voice telling me he loves me
I am his only daughter
and I remember his teeth
oh, they were so white
the way they glowed when he smiled
(smiles)
I loved my dad's smile
but I can't remember his face
anymore
I swear I try
I tell you I try
why can't I remember?

With enough repetition and choppy sentences it would be easy to remember. So ran into the bathroom on the 5th deck and went as far as locking the outer doors haha. I didn't want anyone walking in on me practicing. So I begin practicing...and suddenly I had tears in my eyes. I knew I had gold. Grabbed my stuff and dashed out in pursuit of the classroom. ← haha that's a bit melodramatic. But I did get out there as fast as I could since I had less than 15 minutes before the audition period would end. Ran into Dean Al who was supposed to be auditioning folks but was instead near the piano and asked. Basically, everyone naturally came within the first hour... told him I wanted to audition if it was okay and we walked into the garden lounge. He was trying to find two other people to be judges and so he gathered Alyssa and Raja. We walked into classroom 2 and the whole time I was wondering would I be able to deliver now that I was being put on the spot. I wouldn't consider myself an actress.. never did any major plays or anything... I'm a singer and writer. I enjoy the stage when I am in my element whether performing or competiting in the music realm... or when I am doing a poetry slam or spoken word cafes... acting never really crossed my mind...

I fill out this paper that asks what scene of the monologues would I prefer, acting experience I've had and some other stuff. Then the floor is all mine. I take a few breaths, staring at my sheet of paper. Then I begin. I hear myself. My voice is cracking because I believe the story I am conveying and because I believe the story I am conveying I am suddenly crying and as I am crying my hands are now trembling and further exaggerates my gestures. I can remember their faces—Raja looks like he doesn't want to so much as breathe, Alyssa's eyes are wide and looks like she wants to cry,  Dean Al looks at me intently and thoughtfully. I finish my bit and snap out of it laughing when someone opens the door by accident. I was also a bit apologetic for the depressive mood that seem to hang over the room (I guess no one expected the content hahaha me either) and they immediately say “there are no apologies in acting.” They are all nodding and saying it was good...I was more so looking for Dean Al's approval. He's in charge of the theater club and had us do improv exercises... I also know he has substantial acting and comedy standup experience. So when he tells me to change up and play the detached, emotionally removed person in the situation I am ready for it. It's obviously a lot easier to play the overwhelmed emotional person. So I give it a go and he's nodding as I complete it. Then it's over and I feel like a million bucks because they are telling me they are happy I went ahead and audition. Dean Al tells me we are going to have use my writing skills in writing skits and scenes for the theater club... which is cool for sure!! I find out tomorrow. I'm just happy I went for it and enjoyed it at that =)

Tonight was the first session of the psychotherapy group. On Saturday, February 12th, I hosted the Healthy Relationships workshop. I collaborated with one of the ship's counselor Christine, and Raja. It went really well. I was glad the way it flowed and it was good idea to distribute scenarios. They touched on long distance relationships and the barriers of communication, SAS guilt and love. Anyhow, at the end there was a sign up form for those who wanted to participate in a closed psychotherapy group. There is so much happening, so much processing that we want to be sure to get ourselves aligned internally to be able to make the most of all these external blessings =) Well thats my summation at least... haha. There was about 8 of us there tonight, our next meeting there will be 3 more joining us then it is capped and we may just split into two groups. The two counselors Christine and Anne were gracious. Can't wait for next week. In the meantime got to get back into school mode, I've been slacking. I am ready to get off the ship and dive into South Africa already!